Countdown To Gratitude

Like many of you, I will try to do a last blog entry for 2006. Unlike most, I will not sit here and reflect on this past year's mistakes. Lord knows I made plenty of those and will continue to do so. Also, I don't intend to sit here and make far fetching resolutions for the upcoming year as I like to leave those in God's hands and just follow Him. I like to conclude the remaining time of 2006 with a grateful heart and then steal away and pray until midnight. Like many of you, I did not have a perfect year nor did I expect one. I do have many things to be grateful for both good and bad.

I concluded the evening with about a dozen friends. We all enjoyed the fellowship but agreed we wanted to get home early so as to avoid road rage, cell phone drivers and partying people. People seem more conscious of traveling on New Year's Eve. I get nervous every day I get behind the wheel knowing I have to share the roads with some outraged, careless soul out there. The ligaments in one side of my neck can still attest to this fact two years after I plowed into a lady who pulled out in front of me all because she just wouldn't put down her cell phone. Darlings? Cell phones and driving are just as dangerous as drinking and driving and every day of the year so git that in yer dern thinkin NOW!

My year, as any year, was filled with trials. I am in the habit of surrounding myself with people who are responsible and like to get things done. I avoid those who lean on excuses to not get things done. These people tend to be persistantly negative, lay blame or whine. I ran into more and more negative people that just love to tear down upbeat people. Sad as they may be, they can rob one of their joy and I am guarded about my joy. Rather than verbally lash out at these sort, I must admit I don't know what to do with them other than hide. I have learned to accept the fact that positive people like me are rapidly becoming an enemy in a society that is moving more and more toward lawlessness. While my goal is not to condone negative souls, I have set a goal to learn how to deal with negativity but not to become a part of it.

The one thing that stands out the most in 2006 is the losses of my good friend Jessica and my aunt Shirley within three days of each other. Being at the death beds of friends and loved ones is not hard for me. As a matter of fact I consider it an honor that the dying ask me to be there with them. However, being at Jessica's and Shirley's deathbed was a bit overwhelming in a matter of days as I travelled from city to city to be there for them.

Jessica had lived her life with spinal muscular dystrophy. She was forty-five years old when she passed. She only asked one time why she was born with the disease. Her father explained why it was God's will for her to live the way she lived. After this was explained to her, she never questioned her living arrangements ever again. She lived her life knowing she had a death sentence over her head but I could never tell she was aware that she should never have lived past the age of twenty. Jessica loved people and she loved life. I never heard her complain about anything. This is not to say she was incapable of complaining; she just chose not to complain. To me, she proved that happiness or misery is strictly a matter of choice. She was also bothered that people always told her that she was a source of inspiration. Jessica reminded these people that she faced the same temptations as the next person. The last email she sent me was January 3, 2006. It had wonderful photos of, what else, cats. I kept that email in my system much of the year until I unsuccessfully moved it to another file.

I always sat with Jessica in back of the church on Sunday mornings as she could not maneuver her wheelchair around the pews. We had a ball. When people came in, they always flocked around her and just loved on her. When she was hospitalized for the last time, a gentleman that sat behind me one Sunday morning asked me about how she was doing. I responded by saying that if God's purpose was to have Jessica to live a physical life as He chose, put her in our church only to have her to touch our hearts as often as she did, then He accomplished His goal. This gentleman agreed. Then our Pastor announced to the church that Jessica's family was called into the hospital as her time was short. I then grabbed my Bible and left for the hospital. Suprisingly, when I arrived, her family allowed me to spend an hour and a half with her. She and I still managed to joke around even though she could barely speak and could no longer eat or sleep due to muscle atrophy and muscular failure. I finally stood up in front of her and told her I had mysteriously run out of things to say and was now nervous. She thanked me for being honest with her. I told her I will go home. The last words I said to her was "I love you". I never saw her alive again. I do know in my heart that she walked if not ran into Heaven's gates.

Meanwhile, aunt Shirley was also on her way out of this life. From the time she celebrated her fiftieth wedding anniversary, she spent the next five months in the hospital. Her complications began when her last kidney was removed due to cancer (the Adams curse). She had gotten to the point that she had had enough of the hospitals. I think what brought her down emotionally was that she did not get to enjoy the holidays. She loved cooking during the holidays and she loved being surrounded by family. All Adams' are family oriented, especially around holidays.I made countless visits to Shirley all my life and never was there a time I went in her and uncle Andrew's house what I did not leave without eating a homecooked meal. She expected visitors to eat or else she took offense. We spent a lot of time in her garden every year-- her source of joy. I also enjoyed countless times over the years hearing here tell stories about family and folklore down home. Here was a lady that got along very well with her family. She helped her parents, brothers and sisters and attended all of their funerals. She was the sole survivor of her family and like all Adamses, she never forgot from where she came. Upon Shirley's passing was the passing of that entire Adams generation. Aunt Shirley, along with all Adamses, are the ancestors of whose shoulders I stand upon today. The Adams generation today are now my generation and the little ones after us.

My darlings, don't get me wrong. It does not bother me in the least in being at someone's deathbed as I did this with my Dad and others. Being at deathbeds to hear the dying's last words is an honor. It is when several of these appearances from some of the most influential people in my life happened almost simultaneosly and made the third week of March a bit overwhelming but memorable. Today, I don't remember how I got through that week.

I will conclude by sharing something I saw this morning that I rarely see any longer. As everyone left the morning service, I noticed a elderly married couple with whom I am friends. As they left, the gentleman looked behind him and took his wife's hand. I watched them walk out to the parking lot hand in hand. In an age where gays are fighting for the rights that heterosexuals have God ordained and legally protected but no longer want; the right to marry and the right to raise children, the foundational family is declining, taken for granted, ignored or treated as a matter of inconvenience. However,I respect that gentleman in how he treated his wife today. His wife did not walk behind him. She walked beside him. I am sure throughout their years they tired of each other, fuss and argued and maybe come close to throwing their hands up and saying 'I quit'. But that is just it they did not look like quitting when I saw them. I have a great deal of respect for a man that has been married to the same woman for a million years and can still reach out and take her hand because he wants to do so. I have even more respect for a man that knows his family are God-given and his responsibility is to care for them while on this side of Heaven. Sad to say, many youngsters today can not possibly trace their roots because they have been denied the reality of both blood parents for selfish reasons. Because the traditional family is not taken seriously today, I love to ask couples who have been married for decades what their marriage has been like all of these years. They will tell you that it has never been easy but they still are committed to each other, children and grandchildren. They will teach you that the word commitment keeps a marriage and keeps a family. You will get a blessing when you ask long time married couples about their marriage. The longer they have been married the more you will learn. You will hear about a family that many young people today have not been exposed to but you will learn about the foundation of marriage and family as it was intended. I once asked my aunt Shirley whatit was like being married to uncle Andrew. She said "Sometimes he gets me so mad I want to ring his neck but love outdoes the temptation to kill him". This elderly couple I saw at church today made my last day of the year a blessed day. I enjoy watching people love and respect other people.

Finally, I concluded my cat campaign for the year. I made it a point to wear something or pass out something with a cat on it. Men had the same response; "I hate cats!" or "Don't you have something with a dog on it?". Too funny. Today, a gentleman who teases me about my kitties approached me,handed me a gift and said "Here's something for your stupid cats!". I opened it and there was a beautiful cat comb and cat toy. Teddy ear loves the cat comb but I don't know what Moo did with the cat toy. I told everyone to be with me next year when I start my new campaign. They just don't know that the new campaign will bring. Could it be...more cats? We'll see what 2007 will bring.

In the mean time, I conclude 2006 in wealth-wealth in the many wonderful friends I am blessed to have in my life. These are friends that pick on me (my favorite friends), lift me up, inspire, challenge me to think, make me laugh, enjoy coffee and good books, don't always agree, are loyal, love Moo and Teddy Bear, are old, are young, are of different walks of life, responsible, creative, not creative, love sports, are not into sports, and not one of them knows anything about tether ball. All the same, they just blow my hat off and into the creek!

Darlings the hot apple cider is delicious but the dive bombs are getting heavy-meow and Happy New Year.